Peri-What-Now? The Bizarre (and Slightly Hilarious) Signs of Perimenopause
August 30 2023
Alright, lovely ladies and perceptive pals, gather 'round, because today we’re diving deep into the *whacky world* of perimenopause! 🌪️💥 And believe me, it's like a poorly-scripted sitcom that Mother Nature decided to produce!
Now, I *could* make a TikTok on this, bopping off-beat while pointing to invisible text, risking my "cool mom" status. But let's face it: do I want the entire world witnessing my attempt at being the next viral sensation? Uh... that's a hard NO.🙅♀️
But, in the spirit of sisterhood and sheer comedic relief, let's break down the delightful (read: maddening) symptoms:
**Itchy Ears**: Yes, you read that right! Why? No idea. But there I am, 2 a.m., trying to do the ear-dance in my PJs, hoping for relief.
**Burning Tongue**: I mean, who knew? It’s like I took a dare to lick a chili pepper, every single day.
**Bye-Bye Libido**: It's not playing hide-and-seek, folks. It's full-on left the building.
**Mood Swings**: Think of me as a human pendulum. Happy to sad. Elated to... wait, what was I saying?
**Eternal Exhaustion**: If napping was a sport, I’d be an Olympic champion.
**Constant Anxiety**: Is the oven on? Did I lock the door? Wait, why am I in this room?
**Weight Gain**: My jeans have apparently decided to be "shrinking." At least, that's the story I’m sticking to.
**Brain Fog**: I walked into the kitchen and... oh look, a butterfly! 🦋
**Forgetful Fanny**: I’ve started naming my plants. Not for fun, but so I remember them.
**Migraines**: Because regular headaches are just too mainstream.
**Desert Skin**: Moisturizer companies LOVE me. I'm single-handedly keeping them in business.
**Hair's Great Escape**: I might soon have more hair on my brush than my head.
**Ms. Cranky Pants**: I swear, I love y'all, but sometimes I just want to challenge someone to a duel. 🤺
So, for those of you cruising down Perimenopause Parkway, know you’re not alone in this zany ride. It's wild, it’s unpredictable, and sometimes, you just have to laugh at the sheer absurdity of it all.
Until next time, keep those ears scratch-free, and maybe, just maybe, consider making that TikTok. (Or not, I totally get it!)
**#PerimenopauseParty #WhackyWomanhood #RidingTheHormonalRollercoaster**
Now, I *could* make a TikTok on this, bopping off-beat while pointing to invisible text, risking my "cool mom" status. But let's face it: do I want the entire world witnessing my attempt at being the next viral sensation? Uh... that's a hard NO.🙅♀️
But, in the spirit of sisterhood and sheer comedic relief, let's break down the delightful (read: maddening) symptoms:
**Itchy Ears**: Yes, you read that right! Why? No idea. But there I am, 2 a.m., trying to do the ear-dance in my PJs, hoping for relief.
**Burning Tongue**: I mean, who knew? It’s like I took a dare to lick a chili pepper, every single day.
**Bye-Bye Libido**: It's not playing hide-and-seek, folks. It's full-on left the building.
**Mood Swings**: Think of me as a human pendulum. Happy to sad. Elated to... wait, what was I saying?
**Eternal Exhaustion**: If napping was a sport, I’d be an Olympic champion.
**Constant Anxiety**: Is the oven on? Did I lock the door? Wait, why am I in this room?
**Weight Gain**: My jeans have apparently decided to be "shrinking." At least, that's the story I’m sticking to.
**Brain Fog**: I walked into the kitchen and... oh look, a butterfly! 🦋
**Forgetful Fanny**: I’ve started naming my plants. Not for fun, but so I remember them.
**Migraines**: Because regular headaches are just too mainstream.
**Desert Skin**: Moisturizer companies LOVE me. I'm single-handedly keeping them in business.
**Hair's Great Escape**: I might soon have more hair on my brush than my head.
**Ms. Cranky Pants**: I swear, I love y'all, but sometimes I just want to challenge someone to a duel. 🤺
So, for those of you cruising down Perimenopause Parkway, know you’re not alone in this zany ride. It's wild, it’s unpredictable, and sometimes, you just have to laugh at the sheer absurdity of it all.
Until next time, keep those ears scratch-free, and maybe, just maybe, consider making that TikTok. (Or not, I totally get it!)
**#PerimenopauseParty #WhackyWomanhood #RidingTheHormonalRollercoaster**
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